Maya

ma·ya

ˈmīə,ˈmäyə/

The supernatural power wielded by gods and demons to produce illusions. The power by which the universe becomes manifest; the illusion or appearance of the phenomenal world.

Several years ago I began a quest, It started with me as a man in my very early 30's, pursuing a religious path. The path started simply enough, with a life changing experience; the loss of a family, the reduction of what I thought in myself, of myself.The world was on board with that. I noted, in my peculiarly analytical manner, that the world was always on board with reducing me, reducing my worth, be it physical or spiritual...to zero, or as near zero as one could get. It never built me up. Never. Never in all my years upon this world. It would not sustain me, nor encourage me, nor compliment me, nor inflate me. It was not about teaching me a lesson. It seemed more to be about eradicating an enemy...and why would that be?

From my very infancy, I loved every living thing, minus spiders, snakes, scorpions, mad dogs and barbarians, but even they, I could give place to. In my mind, all manner of things have their rightful place in the scheme of creation. It was not my place to judge, nor my experience to know all things, in order to judge. So, I kept my place, my peace, and more often than not...my opinion, to myself. Though, it kept nagging me, that seeming raison d'etre of the creation itself, to deny me a place, mine or otherwise. Still I persisted.

I was baptized, but not synthesized into any order of wholeness by it. I remained with observations and many unanswered questions. I spoke with God under many excuses, to heal, to know, to be guided. A relationship did develop and still remains. Largely, I do the talking...in fact, wholly. But I excuse that too, beneath the banner of 'I don't know how to pray' or, 'I have ego in the way' . There were always ready reasons, and always ready contributors to my faulty reasoning's. But of a concrete answer, a communication from beyond, above...nothing.

Within however; now there was a completely different complexion. Ton's of communication; some of it me...nay...all of it me. Most of it, doubting, reasoning, hoping, failing of hope, and behind it...always...observation. I have come to believe, in fact, that that omniscient eye of ever present observation, is the god within me. It is not an easily deceived eye, nor does it pass away. It concludes when it has gathered proof enough. All that passes is thought, doubt, hopelessness, disappointment and gas.

I promised God, in the infancy of my understanding, that wherever the path led, in pursuing Jesus, I would surely go. I very well tried, but several things happened. First off, the church I became involved with, had not the slightest thing to do with realizing Jesus, for they did all things opposite of his teachings...so when I decided to go on the road, and search after my own way...it became 'the way'. It was a step toward my eventual 'self realization'. For, it is the very essence of understanding our own motivations, that push us along 'the way'.

This being an arduous and life long quest, we age, and as we do, we tend, or at least I do, to try to rid ourselves of the superfluous...to drop our baggage, as it were. With any religion, there is 'added baggage'. It became a point of survival, on the road of experience toward self realization, to decide who or what you're going to carry...so I had to decide if I could carry myself and Jesus. It became obvious, that Jesus was going to have to walk a mile in my shoes rather than the other way around. I didn't boot him and haven't to this day, but he must walk beside me now, and he must accept that I have other spiritual advisers as well.

Somewhere along 'the way' I met up with Buddha. Now Buddha doesn't talk much either. But he has these followers, same as Jesus, same as God or Jehovah, and they will fill you in with dharma, with gospel, and with lectures until you want to chuck the whole lot and just retch for about a week straight...just to get the illness of religion out of your system. So, after several of these purges in my life...to get rid of the disease, yet remain spiritual...I decided to keep certain things...and I have. You could call them a distillation of teachings from many religions, and just many sources...in general.

I try to tell a Christian preacher, or a follower of Jesus or Jehovah, that what I get from Buddha, in essence, isn't yards of verbiage out of books. For me it is all distillated in the posture of my little Buddha statue, and simply reeks with the expression of 'sit still...empty your mind...look inward...be at peace...smile...be happy...love'. Isn't that enough? It is for me. And that's what it's all come down to. Jesus said it. Just love. They all said it. It's just that nobody was genuinely listening. They were all too busy lieing, that they 'know' Jesus, or they 'know' Buddha, or they know this or that one, because, just like people who knock their heads against prayer walls...they want to be seen of other men doing so or knowing so, until the reality of the real thing isn't there, and never will be there'.

You cannot base the reality of the existence of a manifestation on a lie, and expect it to keep it's integrity forever. Because, well...that all just becomes unbelievable at some point. When it becomes too unbelievable, it loses force, shape. It's center will not hold and it collapses, as a soap bubble does. Maybe we will be lucky and have another manifestation to fill with air and bring to life or maybe there will be no life and the air will be taken from it. Everyone should look up the word 'pneuma'. It has to do with God and with breath. God breathed life into this manifestation, but belief and air are in short supply these days. Has anyone noticed? The bubble is collapsing. Why? Because God is not a lier, and lies cannot sustain this bubble any longer.

Which takes me to the next step on my path of 'the way'. Although, I am only partly a Buddhist, and a mixture of many other experiences, I can attest to a fact, that, just as the world lies and lies and lies, I become ever and ever more obdurate to the lie, and ever less believing in this reality. In fact, if it were solely on my shoulders, to decide whether this manifestation of reality continues or ceases, it would just collapse for lack of belief. The preposterous things that are happening in our world, socially, environmentally, religiously and militarily, beggar belief in anything. Every good thing worth believing has been crapped on by the big dogs and the little ones, while the world cheers.

It makes me wonder about that thing the Buddhists speak of...'Maya', that everything here is illusion, that people aren't real, nor flags, nor religions, nor borders, nor any of those things that pit us against one another and seek to divide us...imagine...nothing to kill or die for...indeed. The children of the country of Bhutan, when asked if other children bully them or lie or steal from them, respond "Why would we do that to ourselves, to shame our worth within ourselves, to make ourselves lower instead of higher? Why would anyone do that?" My  question exactly. So as I believe less in this world, I come to realize there is another on 'the way', and I am glad because I grow tired of Maya, and can already see the rips and tears in the fabric of illusion.

Ironically enough, it is the world and it's lie, and it's illusion, that has forced me to cast away my own...and to seek safe harbor in the unknown, and in far away lands and other worlds, so I am thankful this world gave me little, with holding all that was precious to it, in knowledge that sooner or later I would pierce it's veiled disguise, and realize it for the lie it has become, and perhaps always was. Perhaps it is the very nature of 'the way' to show us the face of almighty ego at last, that we may rescind our error to find a better way. I know there are not many walking this narrow path.

I am thankful to Jehovah, to Jesus, to Buddha and to all those who either walked along with me or crossed my path in some life affecting way...because it taught me what I now reveal to you. We must walk our own walk and talk our own talk and be our own self and none other, in order to realize and fulfill our quest in this world. We must know to fix our self before we can fix another. In the end, our own eye of observation will collect and observe and separate chaff from wheat...for we are god's as Jesus said. We have the power to bless or to curse our world...and right now everyone seems on the bandwagon to curse it.

It matters not, for balance is the law of the way. This unbalanced lie will fall and end. A new balance will begin, and as all things are, that are new...it will be fresh and clean and will regenerate with it's naivete and loveliness, and innocence. The old earth will pass away, and a new earth will begin...as it was long ago. And those who cared will be there, and those who did not will not. That is my manifestation, and my imagination, and my self realization. John Lennon knew this to be true and eventually, every living creature will only need to 'imagine' to make it so...as it was in the beginning.

In passing, I mentioned a little thing John Lennon said...a very important little thing..."imagine". So John in his living and his dying had somewhat to do with my making as well, as have these times and these obstacles we have all faced. How many of us are real? I don't know. I only know, the ones who aren't or weren't wont be there. Those that are real? They will be there. Those saying 'Keep'n it real' with tee shirts and bumper stickers, will probably prefer to go merchandising somewhere else, maybe on 'buzz word' world or something...where ever, I just hope they buzz off. I'm tired of phonies and liers, as this poor world of dust is tired.

Written by Bruce James Clyde 2015

Art: credit unknown