Happy Holidays

What if you are, 'yourself?' That's not particularly wonderful, or attractive...or even friendly. You love people. They don't love you back. You wave at everybody. They think you're a retard. You do what you can for people. It's never enough for them. You can't do much. They call you a cheapskate. You try to do more, they tell you...you have to do for yourself, no one's gonna do for you.

You don't like people very much. You take away from yourself, to give others a hand up...they take the hand, your knee cap, and spit in your face. They ask to use your phone...they run up a bill. They ask for a ride somewhere. They take you completely out of your way. They smoke in your car, shit in your ashtray, slam your door at the curb...and forget to say thank you. You give a buck to a bum...they ask for a five. You say, you haven't got it...they call you a bum.

You gotta pack for a move...fourth day of packing...you're done, neighbor drops by...can I help you with anything, he says? You say, "he could have four days ago." He says, "I noticed that lawn furniture in the backyard...you taking it?" "Nah, I'm burning it." He says, "You don't make many friends, do you?"

I don't 'get' people. I never have. I don't know what makes them tick. I don't even know if they are people. Are they 'challenges?' They are to me. What else are they? Total assholes, as far as I can determine. Does it change me? Not for the worse. It makes me stronger. No, they don't get the credit, for being an asshole. I get the credit for being patient and kind, helpful and polite...to helpless sots, whose total pleasure, is making others suffer more than themselves.

Mom used to tell me, "They're jealous." Nah, they're just losers...and until they break out of it, they always will be. I don't give away, as much as I used to. I don't smile as much. I have no fewer friends. You can't have less than none.

I think I was put on this earth, to challenge people., and every time they see me, or hear my voice, or catch the mere suggestion, I am present...it invokes their wrath, to rudeness, bad behavior, insolence, bitterness. I think, it's because, they see me in themselves, and they hate the fact, of the work they must do, and the ground they must cover...to catch themselves up.

I can't help them there. What they will not do for themselves, but are willing to allow another to do for them...is just not 'me', anymore. So my gift to them, this holiday season is a big fat 'squat'. Do the work, if you want the grace. By the way, you can't earn it, but you're not gonna get it from me...for nothing. No more blessings, for a curse.

There are people out there trying, people giving all that they have...to see other people have, even if they have nothing. Often times, these 'giving' people suffer much, and in the end are called 'fools' for their effort. They are called fools, by fools. But they are no fools...and their reward will come.

Oh...it WILL come. So, it isn't that I have forgotten you, or don't care about you, or consider you a waste of time...it's just that, time is running out...and I can't be more specific. I wish you the best.
Happy Holiday's.


Written by Bruce James Clyde 2016, at Deming, New Mexico

Art: google art